The Millennials also Gen Y, Gen alpha and especially our generation the infamous Gen Z, have been tagged as commitment-phobic, we've been called entitled and selfie-obsessed, There are majorly two areas that lack of commitment affects, relationships and workplace. we are going to talk about relationships in part one this blog.
According to the Pew Research, millennials, Gen Z and Gen Alpha are less likely to be married in their 20s than previous generations, while Gallup found a whopping 64% of 18-29-year-olds were single in 2014, having risen from 52% in 2004. The 30- 39 age group also saw a rise of singledom, growing from 15% to 19% over the same period.
So what exactly is commitment and why do we lack it, Commitment is the state or quality of being dedicated to cause, activity or person (from Oxford), so the lack of commitment is dipping out when things get tough or partaking in no label dating also know as love without commitment.
My greatest worry is that our generation will be remembered as the generation that gave up on love, we date for fun, living a trail of heartbreaks behind us. The generation that forgot how to love. So what's going on, why are we struggling to commit?
1. Influence from the previous generation-
I hate to say it but the previous generation has a great role in teaching the next about love, generation X which are our parents haven't done a good of a job as they could have in teaching the Millenials and Gen Z how to love, and we are influencing Gen Alpha and the next.
2. We love instant gratification-
We grew up and continue to thrive in a world that allows us to access anything right now. If we want food, we have it ordered and delivered to our doorsteps or have prepackaged and we pick it up ready at the restaurant without having to wait. If we are bored, we have an endless stream of distractions, If we need a question or directions, we get it instantly
3. Choice choice choice -
committed relationships reduce one's options, and a study shows that the young people prefer to have more options, with this choice overload, we are paralyzed by the options we have, we just keep swiping left and never get to the point of picking. the more options we have the more we fear choosing the wrong ones.
4. Social media and the need for perfection -
With social media, we are constantly bombarded with the highlights of everyone's life, celebrities flaunting their money, flashy cars, and relationships. we grew up with Disney's fairytale movies and we've been fooled into believing perfection is attainable, we are looking for that perfect individual and we are trying to perfect. perfection is not attainable, that fictional ideology of prince charming or your damsel in distress does not exist, we will never be perfect. we like "because of" and love "despite" certain attitudes the person may have.
5. Replacing human interactions with digital interactions-
Our generation, also known as the digital natives are the biggest users of social media, 89% of us are on Facebook, we are over-connected digitally, but not connected enough physically, as I like to call it "overconnected disconnect". with the presence of online dating like never before, people would rather meet people from the comfort of their couch digitally than meet people and have one on one interactions, which is how real relationships and strong bonds are built.
6. Ruled by a culture of drugs booze and premarital sex
7. The kind of music and content we consume -
Research shows that taken together, media presents adolescents with a portrait of intimacy as a game that relies upon false self-presentation while reinforcing the idea that relationships center on sexual interactions, for example, found that the more time spent watching Hip Hop music videos and accompanying lyrics, the more teens were likely to have a wrong mindset towards relationships (Bryant, 2008). This reinforces the belives already pushed by social media that relations ships are shallow and materialistic.
8. Trust issues -
We inherited a lack of trust from the previous generations seeing the number of failed marriages. According to Statistic Brain, first marriages have a 10 years survival rate of only 6.6%. Otherwise put, only 1 in 15 young adults getting married for the first time will have the same partner and marital status after 10 years. Also, we experience all the facets of technology, studies show that 71% of young adults say that people can't be trusted.
9. Selfishness and lack of compromise -
We like to have things done, the way we want it, when we want it and how we want. if we can have it our way why should we settle for anything less, 39.5% of youths say they find it hard to put the needs of others before there's especially growing up in a world where they only have to worry about themselves. growing up egocentric, we are goal-driven but often forget to put our partners in the mix.
10. Lack of self-esteem-
Some of us are just bad at loving because we don't love our selves, the need for perfectionism also comes with the feeling of not being enough, not being important, or important enough, unless we have two million views or 10,000 likes. in the comment section, people can be very brutal, extending their insecurities and self hate on others, brooding a generation of insecure people, with the increase in cyberbullying and suicides caused by it, we are emotionally dependent and externalize our self-confidence.
I believe that even with all these problems, there's so much our generation can bring to the world, let not be the generation tagged for giving up on love, we are loved, even when we think we are not, we are strong even when we feel weak, we all have to make conscious efforts to direct our attention to the right places, let's focus on building our selves and achieving goals, not for the hashtags and likes, but for our selves, lets become proactive towards our love life and loving people, put your self out there, give people chances and take a leap of faith, you don't know where it's going to lead you.
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